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Supporting the Troops by Rewriting History

Good day, America! What were you doing last week on Veterans Day? If you were a Republican member of the Veterans Affairs Committee, you were busy gorging yourself on the flesh of war-torn soldiers and elderly veterans! In a monumental effort to honor those who have fought for this country, House Veterans Affairs Committee Director Representative Steve Buyer (R-IN) announced a tremendous first for our armed forces. In his own words, “veterans service organizations will no longer have the opportunity to present testimony before a joint hearing of the House and Senate Veterans’ Affairs Committees.”

Veterans have been coming before their own affairs committee for 55 long years. And in one day - one acrimonious, cannibalistic bazaar - the ruling class’ ruling class completely cut veterans out. As for Buyer, the little demon that pushed this rule through, he was appointed to the committee’s board of directors by Republican Representative Tom DeLay, Houston’s most famous Used Car Salesman.

Shame. Shame. Now we can stop wondering why 2.2 million veterans are on a waiting list for healthcare. Now we can stop wondering why over 2 million Iraq and Vietnam vets cannot get treated for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

While all of this was happening, the rest of us were gawking at Bush’s “spirited” defense of his war, telling us his critics, many now in his own party, are “rewriting history.” So, in the vein of our glorious leader’s speech on Veterans Day, 2005, I would like to present my own rewrite of the propaganda that was regurgitated to my generation in grade school. Ready for this? I hereby decree …

- Christopher Columbus helped create the transatlantic slave trade.

- FDR knew attacks on Pearl Harbor were en route, but did nothing to prevent it.

- Red States have higher instances of Methamphetamine and Cocaine Abuse than Blue States.

- Blue States have fewer instances of Divorce and Violent Crime than Red States (so much for the “morals” debate).

- The CIA is behind vast amounts of illegal drug trafficking and actively targets poor, black communities.

- Previously placed demolition charges, not jet planes alone, brought the WTC buildings down on Sept. 11, 2001.

- The War in Iraq was started by Liars and is perpetuated by Thieves.

Every item on that list is rarely discussed fact. Well, except the last two assertions, which have been ubiquitous issues in our most recent round of national debate. But if our C.E.O. can rewrite his own lies based on “the best available intelligence,” I can take a shot at our history textbooks. At the very least, I can say with little argument that Bush is the new Nixon. Except Nixon was a liberal by today’s standards.

Consider the recent revelations of the CIA’s “black sites” littered across Europe. Regardless of what King George thinks the definition of torture is, it is commonly accepted fact that the detainees in these prisons, Guantanamo Bay being one of many, have no rights whatsoever. They are hidden from the Red Cross, denied access to legal advice, and are held without charge for an indefinite period of time. We know this much is true. I cannot attest to any prisoner’s innocence - many very well may be guilty - but history, sans presidential rewrites, chides this brand of evil.

Winston Churchill once said, "The power of the Executive to cast a man into prison without formulating any charge known to the law, and particularly to deny him the judgment of his peers, is in the highest degree odious and is the foundation of all totalitarian government whether Nazi or Communist."

Should Americans assume that Winston Churchill would consider our Executive Branch to be totalitarian in nature? Has Bush turned us into a Fascist Oligarchy? You decide. But consider the lessons of history. I do not want to believe Those Who See All have set out on a Fascist Agenda, but consider the words of the Italian Dictator Benito Mussolini: “Fascism should more appropriately be called Corporatism, because it is a merger of state and corporate power.” He must have known what he was talking about, having run a Fascist Oligarchy himself.

As for Double-You, he’s about as “solid” a leader as John “Flip-Flop” Kerry. "Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the President to explain to us what the exit strategy is,” said Bush as Texas Governor, referring to American troop deployment in Bosnia under Clinton’s orders. Hm.

By this time next year, it may be in the GOP’s best interest to support Democratic attempts to impeach this guy before he completely destroys his party. Can you see it? I can. Blood falls on the horizon, and morning comes at an early hour. We will march on a road of bones.

Mahalo.

The Weird, Turned Pro.

Created by The Gonzo Muckraker
Based in Dallas, Texas
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