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James Hill, Drunken Pirate for Congress

A bit about James Hill (from his website) ...

The Pirate's Stand

Honesty as a practice

What you see is what you get. I am the only drunken Pirate seeking office in this great nation. What a sad testimonial to our political system when a degenerate like me, feels like the most honest candidate on the ballot. I am not talking the chrome plated crap my opponents throw out. I am talking about deep from the heart honesty. This pirate believes that holding public office demands real sacrifice. Every aspect of my personal life must be laid to the blade and exposed. My medical history. My financial history. My employment history. My family history out in the open for your scrutiny. It is my offer to you. It will be my way of showing real sacrifice to serve you. We as voters have not asked enough of candidates. For the $150,000 annual salary, candidates should be subjected to intense public scrutiny.

The result will bring a more honest open type of person to the race. You will see the false Christians and smarmy trained monkeys recede to the shit-holes they crawled from. This challenge is not to be taken lightly. Can the American voter accept a flawed person or even down right ugly one to represent them? Every day I fight the urge to drink, debauch women out of wed-lock and beat people on the street. One urge I do not have is to sell myself to the highest bidder. I see new accounts every day. These ‘men’ who sell their influence like common whores. Duke Cunningham and his bribe menu sound familiar? William Jefferson with $90.000 k in his freezer ring a bell?

I would have your wife right in front of you. I would smoke the last of your glaucoma medication. Then I will surely drink your liquor cabinet dry. However, know this my friend. I will never break an oath to uphold the public trust. My affidavit will be signed in my own blood. A Pirates crimson mark, with real binding effects into my after life. Laugh if you will then ask yourself if you could do it.

James Hill, Drunken Pirate for Iowa's first congressional district.


Isn't that a man you would just love to see elected? I hereby endorse the Drunken Pirate, for even he is more honest than any Republican on any ballot.


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