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You're doing a heck of a job, Dubie

The Webster Retort
By Stephen Webster
Investigative Reporter
Publication date: Mar. 3, 2006

You're doing a heck of a job, Dubie

Hurricane Katrina blasted the coast and drove thousands of our poorest into the streets to suffer and die for seven days while the president played guitar and ate cake. Weeks later, he traveled to New Orleans with his cavalcade of theatre tech majors. They came in early one morning and built a stage, strung lights, set up generators and prepared seating. When the whole performance was over, the lights went out. The generators were sent back to Washington. The stage was torn down and scrapped. The people of the city remained without access to electricity, clean water or medical assistance.

Remember that Bushism classic, “You’re doing a heck of a job, Brownie”?

Yes, Michael Brown. Ex-Director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency. Former Fearless Leader of the Arabian Horse Association. Patsy of the administration. Lap dog to Homeland Security’s Fuhrer, Michael Chertoff. Fashion connoisseur and all-around dope. You get the point.

Michael Brown’s appointment to FEMA was mostly overlooked by the press. Thankfully, this insanity about the Dubai Ports World deal has caught the mainstream. Given the lessons of Hurricane Brownie, I can only imagine what will happen when the United Arab Emirates, a former ally of Afghanistan’s Taliban, takes over terminals in 21 – yes, Twenty One - American sea ports.

I, like you, wondered just what the hell is going on. Where cronyism dictated the appointment of Brown, cronyism is dictating Bush’s shocking resistance to common sense. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Treasury Secretary John Snow, one of the principal members of the secret commission that approved the port deal, was the chairman of a company called CSX. They sold their international port operations to DP World in 2004, coming away with a cool $1.15 billion. In January of 2006, a man named David Sanborn was appointed by the president to head the U.S. Maritime Administration. Before that, he managed DP World’s European and Latin American operations. Neil Bush, Georgie’s “other” brother, has received significant financial aid from UAE investors in his software business. Better still, the Carlyle Group, a defense firm and Who’s Who of Republican Elite (big dollar winner for Poppa Bush) is holding $8 billion of Dubai International Capital’s investment dollars.

The foolishness is unparalleled. United Arab Emirates does not recognize Israel as a state. Their banks financed the 9/11 attacks. The CIA says UAE royals met with Osama shortly after we were attacked. Bush was unaware of the deal for nearly a month after it was approved, but believes we are safe because he conducted a thorough (sigh) 24 hour review. Even the Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfield, did not know about it until reporters asked him. Now the Coast Guard says it is both under funded and concerned about “intelligence gaps” in dealing with the UAE. Great.

The cup finally ran over when the president started playing the race card. See, if you are concerned about this thing, you are a bigot and a segregationist. All you Arab Haters should be ashamed.

I do not think I am the only one who resents the insinuation.

Faced with a nonstop barrage of questions, the sale was downgraded from “giving over control of our ports” to the “leasing of a single terminal within the port.” It was almost like going from “Mushroom Cloud” to “WMD’s” to “weapons programs” to, uh, “Freedom salads for everyone. With croutons. But no dressing. If we have the dressing, the terrorists win.”

Let’s consider another of our nation’s valuable entry points: airports. They have been in the center of Homeland Security’s efforts to harass and annoy, I mean, defend the homeland. And we still do not secure air freight. But I digress. If the Iraqi Sunni’s owned an airline called “Air Iraq,” would it be allowed to “lease a terminal” at D/FW airport? Had the UAE’s old friends in the Taliban raised up a fleet of aircraft and dubbed it “AfganiContential,” would you use them for a connecting flight?

If the president is serious about this “war on terror,” how can he make enemies out of countries which “harbor terrorists,” then strike a multi-billion dollar business deal with a state that harbors terrorists? Indeed, the absence of logic has created a vacuum of greed. We have destroyed the Taliban and now seek to open our ports to their ally. But, they supposedly grow great pot. In fact, the drug trade is a major cog in these countries’ economies!

After all, the Taliban came to Texas in 1997 under then governor Bush. The result was a Unocal oil pipeline in Afghanistan, the same country in which Osama vanished after 9/11. Next time, we’ll just let ‘ole UBL hide out in the governor’s mansion. I am sure Rick Perry’s ubiquitous hair could use the company. If Bush keeps this up, he’ll be grappling with an angry Democratic Congress next January.

“You’re doing a heck of a job, Dubie.” And like true a stoner, he passed to the left.

Mahalo.

Stephen Webster is an Investigative Reporter and Syndicated Columnist with The News Connection, a Staff Columnist with George W. Bush’s hometown weekly The Lone Star Iconoclast, and a former Contributor to The Dallas Morning News’ Science & Technology section. For more of Webster’s musings, visit The Gonzo Muckraker.

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